The first of many anonymous stories to come...
The Back Story
They never physically abused me but I had enough of the emotional abuse,
especially from my father. My dad was always very critical, demeaning,
cold. He'd often make fun of me, my brothers did this too a lot, and my
mom would laugh along with them, treating me like my thoughts and
feelings were silly, stupid, ridiculous.
I was labeled as crazy because I was emotional, and got upset when I was treated like crap, instead of
laughing it off or acting like a robot like the rest of my family. I
wasn't emotionally tough enough.
I think my brothers were jealous when I was
born, and they tortured me for my existence. My parents did nothing to
stop them. When I tried to talk to my mom about it she would only
defend them. They were watching me after all. She had four kids and
couldn't watch me apparently so I was supposed to be thankful to these
abusive brothers I had.
The Last Straw
Every visit I end up in tears
but on this last visit in January, it was the last straw.
It was my son's 4th birthday and I was working really hard to make it a
great birthday for him. I set it up at a bowling alley and invited
friends, etc. I could handle my dad criticising my bowling, whatever,
but the whole visit I was just fed up with both of them. Oh and they
can't listen at all. I don't even talk a whole bunch. They can't pay
attention to ONE SENTENCE. I literally cannot finish a sentence, even
when it's an amazing story or something really important to me. They've
always done this to me, nothing new there.
So my dad pulls into a
handicapped spot, which apparently he does all the time. He has no
stickers and is not handicapped in any way. It was next to a regular
open spot btw. So, ok, be a dick on your own time but when my son and I
are both in the car and I ask that you not force me to participate in
something I am strongly morally against, can you please respect that?
No, he does it despite my pleading. Then he goes on to call me a self
righteous bitch and little miss perfect, in front of my son in the
I can't hold back my tears and my son is now rubbing my
shoulder because even though he's just turned four he had more empathy
in his little finger than my dad could ever have. So my dad doesn't even
notice I'm upset and goes on with his crossword. I retreat into
depression in my room when we get home and my mom doesn't understand why
I'm upset. She was there when he said those things by the way. Instead
of supporting me she acted like I was overreacting and then left the
room calling me some names. They decided to leave because I wouldn't
come out of my room. I don't think my dad actually noticed. I decided
I'd had enough.
My mom is very
surprised and in shock. She even accused my super sweet husband who she
adored, of brainwashing me, because she couldn't comprehend it. My mom
is still stalking me, (my dad probably hasn't noticed) leaving me weird
self-centered messages. I haven't responded other that to initially
tell her that I wanted them out of my life.
I don't regret it but I did
have a twinge the other day of feeling bad for my mom not seeing my son
grow up this year, he's changed so much. I could consider letting her
back into my life if she divorced my dad but I know she never will. I'm
not sure how yet how I'm going to handle her sending my son presents on
this upcoming Christmas and birthday.
The Bottom Line
Basically it was emotional abuse that drove me away. I was getting
way more pain then love from them and it just wasn't worth it anymore.
It was for my sanity, my self-esteem, and for my son.